How to Throw a Dog Party

May is National Pet Month and around my house, 'pets' = dogs. In fact, my husband and I share our home with three of them. Our dogs, a yorkie, a chihuahua and a terrier mix, are all rescued from local shelters and are all fairly small. Having small dogs works better for us in our small to medium sized mid-century home.

But that doesn't mean I've never pondered the idea of living in even less space. And I'm not alone. Lots of people are embracing minimalism and even opting to live in tiny homes. My best friend's daughter, who is currently in middle school, already has plans of living in a tiny home one day, with a few dogs of her own.

So when I got the opportunity to throw a dog party, along with my BFF yorkie girl Ruthie, in a tiny home, I jumped at the chance!

Planning a Dog Party 

When planning a dog party, it's important to manage your expectations. Dogs are man's best friend, but partying with our pampered pooches might be a little unpredictable.

Consider your guest list before you send out any invites. Which of your pal's dogs are most likely to get along with each other and enjoy the party? Make sure to consider your space and keep things manageable.

Time of day matters when party planning too. If you have a party during what is traditionally a lunch or dinner hour of the day, your guests will expect to be fed a meal. If you plan on serving lighter appetizers or just desserts, time your party right.

Brunch parties are always fun too! 

Creating a Custom Invitation for a Dog Party

Invitations always set the tone for any party, since this is the first thing your guest is going to see to let them know what fun is to come! 

I love the look of classic cut-out silhouette art so I decided to recreate this style with my dog party invitations. 

First, I created a template in Microsoft Publisher, but you could use whatever program you prefer. If you'd like to access a PDF of my invitation, with fill-in-the-blank options, click here. I had mine printed at a local print shop on nice cardstock. I left the space on the right side blank so I could add a bit of my own style with the hand-cut dog silhouettes. 

To create these, I just gathered a couple small photos of dogs and cut out just the outline. You can also do a Google search for "dog silhouette" and you'll find TONS of options to use for inspiration. Once I had my dog silhouettes picked out, I created those same shapes in bright colorful cardstock. 

Ruthie supervised the entire process, but was really no help at all. 

Finally, I glued my cut-out silhouettes to the cardstock invitations. 

I really love the way these turned out! 

For the envelopes, I chose some plain brown paper ones and gave them a little bit of pizzazz with a stamp technique. Using acrylic paint, I added a bright pink puppy paw to each envelope. Like I said, the invites are really what set the tone for the party so your guests will know something fun is inside this envelope before they even open it! 

Who wouldn't want to attend what is sure to be a tail waggin' good time? Now that you've got your invitations taken care of, it's time to get to my favorite part of any party, the food and decorations! 

Decorations & Food Ideas for a Dog Party 

To really create a memorable dog party, it's important to set the scene. Contrary to popular belief that dogs are color-blind, they do actually see some colors, including blue and yellow. So Ruthie & I made sure to use plenty of those shades for our party, including a bright blue tablecloth as a backdrop for other punchy shades. 

Use party hats in bright colors instead of a big floral centerpiece. This will add lots of color to your table, but still be dog-friendly. I also found some multi-colored cardboard cake rounds from the baking section of my local party supply store. Then I snagged some cardstock circles in vibrant hues from the scrapbooking department. These are an inexpensive way to add more color to your decor. 

When planning the food for your dog party, consider delicious options that guests can eat in a couple of bites. Since your guests might have to double as dog wranglers, they probably don't need to try and eat anything too involved. No spaghetti please! 

Antipasti salads on wooden skewers are always a crowd-pleaser. I made mine with cured salami, pepperocini, green & black olives, and small mozzarella bites. 

When in a smaller space, I find that it helps to serve your food buffet style and create small stations where people can enjoy different things as they move about the party. 

I also grabbed a few doggie food dishes at my local Dollar store and used these (after washing them) as serving dishes for popcorn and other snacks. It definitely helped keep with the theme and made for a fun conversation piece. 

Another great dog party food option is some type of slider or mini sandwich. You can't go wrong with ham and Swiss on Hawaiian rolls with a pickle on top. I have said this before, but the secret to planning memorable parties is all about presentation. You can put out a few bags of chips and open some plastic tubs of dip for a so-so gathering, or you can put in a tiny bit more effort and pay attention to how things are presented, for a really wow-worthy shindig. 

Small plastic stemware from your local Dollar store makes a great way to serve some individual cups of guacamole with a few pita chips. I snagged some colorful doggie chew toys (including the cute braided rope pictured below) to use as an accent on my food serving station. 

Some other doggie chew toys from the Dollar store made a great addition to the decor, scattered around the table and food serving station.

For beverages, Ruthie & I decided on a variety of flavors of classic sodas, which we served in a big metal tub. You could also create a signature drink for your dog party, like this cherry soda mocktail, made with cherry syrup and club soda (or your favorite lemon-lime soda) over ice. Garnish with a maraschino cherry and a brightly colored paper straw. Cheers!

And we can't have a dog party without at least one treat for the dogs! I found a great recipe for a healthy doggie treat made with pumpkin and peanut butter on the blog Pinch of Yum.

These were super easy to make and a BIG hit with the pups in attendance at our party!

Pet-Friendly Party Favors for a Dog Party

Something else you might want to consider when planning your dog party is what to give your guests as a favor to remember all the fun they had!

Ruthie and I had a blast making these fun custom tote bags as party favors for our guests. To make these, all you need is:

1) Plain canvas tote bags
2) Iron-on letters & shapes 
3) An iron 

We selected gold glittery letters in a classic font as well as a few pink glittery hearts. These, plus the canvas totes were purchased at my local craft store. Using the letters, we created bags that said fun dog-related phrases, such as "Arf," "Wag More," and "I (Heart) Dogs!"

You could also customize your canvas tote bags with the names of various furry friends in attendance at the party. What a fun favor to leave the party with!

Enjoying Your Dog Party! 

After all your party planning is complete, the best part is getting to enjoy your fabulous shindig. Our guests seemed to have a wonderful time. Even my Yorkie Ruthie, who is normally a refined English lady, let her hair down enough to hop up onto the table. Keep in mind that dog parties don't have the same etiquette rules as people parties and a dog on the table means it was a success!

We thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of our dog party in the beautiful tiny home. It served as the most beautiful backdrop for our event and with just 452 square feet, we had plenty of space for everyone to feel comfortable and enjoy themselves.

From planning and creating our dog party invitations to gathering our food and drinks, decorating for the party and entertaining our guests, this was a truly memorable experience for my adopted dog Ruthie and me. And finally, it was fun to send everyone home with their custom tote bags!

I hope your next dog party is as fun as ours!

For the Love of Dogs

In life, there are different kinds of people. Cat people. Dog people. Iguana people (that's a thing, right?). I am a dog person. Cats are fine, but dogs are definitely my thing. I come from a long line of dog people, at least as far as I know.

I've heard stories of how, as a child, my great grandfather used to roll around in the dirt, kicking and squalling if a stray dog came along that he wasn't allowed to keep. His daughter, my grandmother, grew up on a farm, in a house that had a door in the floor. I've never been exactly clear on this, but from her description, it sounds like the door led into a compartment or cellar of sorts. She describes her childhood as having a steady stream of puppies always readily available. The mother dog would give birth in that compartment and my grandma, whenever she felt like it, would reach in and pull out an armful of puppies.

My mom had dogs from a young age too, including a beloved Saint Bernard (whose name escapes me) and a mutt named Mussolini. Some of my earliest memories are of dogs. My grandparents' beloved brown and white beagle mix, Inky and my great-grandparents' fluffy brown sheep dog Tippy Sue.

The first dog that belonged just to me was a little dachshund mix that I named Duke, after a dog in a book I loved.

When I was a teenager, my family got a black lab named Commodore who ruled the neighborhood. We defied all the leash laws, which allowed him to come and go as he pleased. This included adhering to a strict schedule of daily walks with many of our elderly neighbors who treated him to a slice of bacon or bologna afterward. Commodore died in 2010, on the same day as my great grandfather. They didn't really know each other but I loved them both so much that it was somewhat comforting to think they took that last journey on the same day, if not together.

In January of 2006, I brought home a shelter pup that would change my life and my heart forever. A black and white boxer/pitt bull mix, Leon Otis Spears was magical. I surely didn't deserve his particular variety of pure love and adoration, but somehow I was lucky enough to receive it for nearly ten years.

Some of the darkest days of my life were after Leon died. For nearly a decade, his had been a consistent presence that always made me feel safe and loved. I was devastated after his passing and it was nearly a year before I felt ready to bring another dog into my family.

When my husband and I adopted Ruthie, a special needs Yorkie from a local rescue group, it just felt like the exact right time. That was in January of last year and I can't imagine our life without her.

Later in the summer of last year, I saw a Facebook post by an acquaintance whose co-worker was fostering a tiny, ancient chihuahua. The photo spoke to my heart and we decided to adopt Sweetie, a twelve (maybe fourteen?) year old black and white chihuahua with spindly legs and bright, bulging eyes.

As I type these words, she is eating her dinner of ground turkey, peas and carrots and brown rice, which my husband prepares in the Crock Pot for her and her siblings.

She was cuddling with me recently and I remember thinking that I couldn't imagine our family without her. Even though she's only been with us a little over a year, it feels like forever. And Ruthie, who we've just had nearly two years feels like even longer.

After Leon died, I thought I'd never love another dog again. Ever. I was practically certain of this. And when we first got Ruthie, I thought I'd like her but I never dreamed how dear she'd become to me.

There are so many good life lessons to be learned from our experiences with dogs. What I'm starting to realize is how they change our hearts permanently. I haven't always been the best at giving or receiving affection. I guess it's just a defense mechanism of mine....a form of self-protection.

But with Leon, it was like I had a safe place to pour out my love and snuggles to someone who always wanted to be on the receiving end. He never pushed me away or acted aloof. He never rejected me.

Having that opportunity to practice acting out my affectionate side helped me grow more confident in that area. It might sound silly, but I know it helped me become better able to give and receive affection with people.

I got this image in my mind of the human heart, being sort of closed up at first until something powerful comes along and cracks an opening. It's not always easy to let love in, but then over time, the opening grows. That's why I think I've been so quick to fall in love with these most recent dogs. Because Leon split my heart wide open so there was plenty of space for them to find a place in there.

And that brings me to the latest addition to our little odd squad. A few weeks ago, the lady who works with the rescue organization that brought us Sweetie called me. I was at Wal-Mart, in the frozen food aisle, when she started telling me about this old ragamuffin dog that had been surrendered to the shelter. He was matted almost beyond recognition and they thought he had come from a hoarding situation. She thought of us because of our willingness to adopt older dogs and asked if we'd consider taking him.

It didn't take much convincing (thank goodness I married a dog person too) and the following week, she brought him over for a meet and greet. He's really old...we have no idea exactly how many years. And he's blind in at least one eye. We've been calling him Grandpa because so far it's the only name that seems to fit. He might live two more years or two more weeks, but we wanted him to have a safe, loving home where he could spend the rest of his life.

And we'll benefit from it too. Or at least our hearts will.

Dog Days of Summer - Cool Stuff for Your Pampered Pooch

We're right in the thick of the Dog Days of Summer and this is a great time to celebrate our furry friends with some dog-friendly products.

Whether your dog is young or old, active or not, there's sure to be something here he or she might enjoy! I'm sharing some great products for dog lovers who want to show their canine companions some love while the temps are hot.

Thanks to my friends at CitiFid-O for these great recommendations. You can find these and many more items for your pets at CitiFid-O, located in the heart of downtown Knoxville.

An awesome local shop, CitiFid-O takes great pride in offering as many local products as possible for the urban pet owner. From the moment you step in the store, you’ll feel their passion for cats and dogs. From the moment your pet steps in the store, they’ll feel like they’re home.

Fun Stuff for Dogs that Love the Water: 

A collar that doesn't get stinky and nasty when wet! This is perfect for dogs who have lots of style and want to express it. 

Stylish, 100% waterproof and forever odor-free, Muck Dog Collars are the perfect solution for dogs who love to explore. The special flexible coating allows your dog to swim, roll and romp through the great outdoors, but doesn't allow any of that outdoor dirt to get inside the collar and stink it up. When you're done for the day, just run water over the collar and it comes clean in seconds. 

Strap on a Muck Collar to deny dirt, beat bacteria, and play dirty!

• 100% waterproof
• Soft but strong webbing
• Forever odor-free
• Will never absorb moisture, dirt, or bacteria
• Cleans in seconds
• PVC free

Fun floating toys perfect for a day at the lake or the quarry! 

Clockwise from top - 

• West Paw Frisbee - it floats and flies! 
• Ruffwear HydroPlane - not only does it float, but it's made of abrasion resistant materials
• Kurgo Doggie Dart & Backyard Birdie - fun colors and also floats
• West Paw Boz - colorful squishy balls that float and bounce
• Ruffwear Lunker - a fun toy that floats -- plus it's made of recycled materials 

And since safety is also important, how about a life vest for your dog? The K-9 Float Coat has a cool handle right on top that allows you to easily lift your pup out of the water. 

Keep Your Canine Companions Cool with these Products: 

Some say cool is a state of mind, but when temps reach the 90s and above in Tennessee, it's something we're all trying to achieve...especially our furry friends. Dogs can overheat easily and these products are highly recommended to help them stay cool when weather is hot. 

Chill Seeker Cooling Vest | Canada Pooch 

Turn summer's heat from grueling into cooling with this cool product! It uses evaporative technology to keep your pup cool on hot days. 

Simply soak the vest in water and wring it out. As the water evaporates, it absorbs heat and cools your pooch for ultimate summer comfort. 

PetSafe Drinkwell® Everflow Indoor/Outdoor Fountain

No more refilling the water bowl! Now pets always have access to fresh, filtered water with the Everflow Pet Fountain. When used outdoors, the fountain connects to a standard garden hose and automatically refills to the desired water level you've chosen. When used indoors, the Everflow can hold 1.5 gallons of water. The fountain continuously circulates and filters the water, keeping it cleaner and fresher than a normal water bowl.

Dexas Snack-DuO™ Bottle and Collapsible Companion Cup

This great product is a dual water bottle and snack container that offers both cool water and a crunchy snack for your dog when you are both on the go. Watertight cap top on liquid side, widemouth snap lid on snack side. Flip open the lid to dispense treats or kibble, then pop open the cap top to pour a cool drink of water in the attached collapsible companion cup. BPA free and dishwasher safe.

Coolin' Pet Cot 

Help your dog stay cool in the heat with the K&H Coolin' Pet Cot™. This product combines the innovative design of the Original Pet Cot™ with the addition of a cooling center for added comfort. 

It's truly a unique cooling dog bed!

Musher's Secret 

Musher's Secret is a dense, barrier wax that forms a breathable bond with your dog's paws. Developed in Canada for use with sledding dogs, it provides tenacious protection even in the most extreme conditions. 

 Mushers Wax available in three sizes. Safe and Natural, it's made from a blend of several food-grade

waxes, then refined according to special formulations. Musher's Secret is the safe, non-toxic

way to protect your dog's paws. The semi-permeable shield is absorbed into the paws, allowing perspiration to escape through the toes.

Check out these products to keep your furry friends fluffy and free of fleas & ticks: 

FURminator® Long Hair deShedding Dog Tool

By reducing shedding up to 90%, the FURminator Deshedding Tool enables you to share your home with your dog, without surrendering it to his hair. Used and recommended by veterinarians, groomers and pet professionals, this tool is guaranteed to reduce shedding better than any brush, rake or comb!

Natural Chemistry Flea and Tick Shampoo

Natural Flea & Tick Shampoo for Dogs kills fleas and ticks by contact. It is fully effective for up to 7 days. The shampoo is also effective on blackflies and mosquitoes. It contains oatmeal proteins that moisture, nourish and revitalize dry coat, also leaving the coat soft and smooth.

Dog Gone Smart Dirty Dog Shammy Towel

Dog Gone Smart Dirty Dog Shammy Towel can help you get your wet dog dry after a bath. It’s an absorbent microfiber towel that soaks up 20 times the amount of water and mud than the average shammy towel can. And it dries eight times faster than cotton towels or a blow dryer. This quick-dry towel also features dual hand pockets with elastic to allow for a better grip when drying off your pooch. Added bonus: your dog will enjoy the feel of the ultra-soft fabric as it massages him while it dries.

Help your dog feel calm during fireworks and summer thunderstorms with ThunderShirt! 

The patented ThunderShirt design applies gentle, constant pressure to calm anxiety, fear, and over excitement. Calms during fireworks, thunder, separation, travel, vet visits, and much more with no training and no medication so your dog stays drug-free. Great for rescue dogs.

This is just a sampling of the great products available at CitiFid-O in Downtown Knoxville. There are so many cool gadgets and gizmos available for dogs and since our furry friends are such an important part of our lives, why not pamper them this summer and beyond? 

Learning to FIDO

In the thirteen years I've been with my now-husband, I have received an education about all sorts of military-related things.

When we first started dating, my well-meaning mom bought him a pair of boxer shorts patterned like the American flag. You've probably seen some variation of this...one side is blue with stars and the other side red and white stripes. When she presented the shorts to him, he politely thanked her but later told me he wouldn't be wearing them.

"How come?" I asked.

"I'm not putting the American flag on my ass," he replied, as if this were something I should have known.

Not having much previous experience with anything military-related, this and so many other things were totally new to me.

Like how there's a big difference between people who are tough (they don't talk about it or feel the need to display it) and people who are fake tough (they wear it like a banner for all to see). Or the fact that you don't 'shoot' guns, you 'fire' them. Or how most military movies get so much so wrong.

Something else I've learned a little bit about is some of the different sayings and phrases commonly used by members of the military. Early on, my husband taught me the phrase "Smooth is fast." It means that when you get in a hurry, you can get flustered and make mistakes that you probably wouldn't make if you took your time. My husband said this to me for years and then, while watching the film Shooter, we heard Mark Wahlberg say it, with the addition of the phrase "Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast." 

It's funny because my great-grandmother actually had a very similar phrase she liked to repeat, which is "the best way to go fast is to go slow." For a long time I had no idea what that meant, but coupled with the smooth is fast saying, it makes more sense.

Something else my husband has taught me is FIDO. In military slang, it's an acronym for the phrase "F#@k it, drive on."

When I asked him what might be some scenarios in which FIDO is an appropriate response, he said maybe if lost your weapon or your pack, or your ride broke down or any other number of things. There's no time to stop and worry about it because there's too much at stake. Drive on.

It sounds so simple, but it's actually quite hard for some of us. So many times in life, I have an inclination to stop moving forward and ruminate on the situation at hand.

Sort of like how my beloved Aunt Bo doesn't chew her gum, she just "wallers (wallows) it around in her mouth," I am wont to waller in so many situations. To roll around and settle in, exploring every inch of every possible morsel that might apply to me.

And this isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes a healthy amount of self-reflection can be good. It can help us see things more clearly. It can help us learn about ourselves and others. It can help us avoid certain situations or keep unhealthy patterns from repeating.

But there are other times in life when it just doesn't serve us to stop and waller. When we're actually better off to FIDO.

I'm learning this.

Some situations are just baffling. Sometimes the behavior of others, while completely out of our control, affects us in colossal ways. No matter how much we explore every inch of this junk, it might never make sense. It probably doesn't make sense to the others involved either, if that makes you feel any better.

I'm definitely not advocating any sort of approach that involves ignoring your feelings or pretending like things don't affect you. This doesn't seem healthy to me. But I am saying that in certain instances, it may just be better to FIDO.

I'm reading this book called You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life and it says that much of our reality is created by the crap we have believed in life. Because of all the messages our subconscious has taken in without our even realizing it.

That we aren't good enough. That we don't deserve good things. That we deserve the judgement and criticism of others. That we should hold ourselves to an unattainable standard of perfection.

This is where FIDO could really help. When we find ourselves accepting a truth that we didn't intend to believe in the first place. I do it all the time. Behave a certain way because of some wacky belief that I didn't realize I had.

And instead of stopping to ponder it or waller it around to see it from all sides, maybe I should just keep in mind that I have bigger, more important things to do in this world and I should just FIDO.

The Sunday Night Blues Club

What is it about Sundays that makes the day start off so great, with so much possibility, and then end with such a feeling of dread? Apparently I'm not alone. One recent study found that more than 75% of the people who responded feel it too. Are you one of them?

I can see how Sundays might hold a certain amount of stress and anxiety for people who hate their job and the idea of returning to it on Monday morning. I happen to really enjoy the work I get to do, so it's not that for me.

There's just something unsettling about Sunday night.

I think some of it has to do with my Sunday experiences from childhood.

Some Sundays were spent with my entire family, gathering for a big meal after church. We'd eat til our bellies were full and then the adults would nap or talk while the kids played. These Sundays didn't fill me with any sort of dread, except that I hated for all the fun to come to an end.

Then there were other Sundays on the weekends I spent with my biological dad. Most of the time, we'd spend Sunday lunch and some of the afternoon with my great grandma, which I enjoyed a lot. But when our visit came to an end, I knew it was only a matter of time before he took me back home, and back to my regular life.

Don't get me wrong...my regular life was good. But sometimes it was tough to try and straddle the fence between both worlds. It was almost like I saw myself as two different people...playing two different parts.

I think that's the toughest thing about divorce. As a kid, you want to feel a certain level of security from your surroundings and part of that comes from having all the people you love most gathered together, interacting. As strange as it sounds, I think it has to do with this feeling that there is strength in numbers. That there are enough people around who love you and won't let anything bad happen to you. Isn't that what family is all about?

Of course this isn't always possible.

I worried a lot as a kid. About a host of different things. Bizarre things. Things you probably wouldn't believe even if I told you.

For example, when I was really little, some teacher in a church Sunday school class told us that one day Jesus would come back to earth to save everyone. And she told us that he'd be riding on a majestic white horse. What's more, he'd be bringing an army of horses with him and when he snatched up all the Christians into the sky, we'd each ride on our own horse back to Heaven.

I don't know about you, but the thought of this scared the $hi# out of me. I had ridden horses before with my grandpa, but not by myself. I didn't even know how to ride a horse by myself across a pasture, let alone ACROSS THE SKY.

So naturally I added this to the top of my list of things to worry about, and spent lots of time and energy being concerned about it.

In many ways, my propensity to worry has helped me get where I am in life. It has driven me to do more, to be better, to achieve things. But I don't always get to enjoy these achievements as much as I'd like because it can feel like I'm always worried about the next thing.

And thus, here I sit, on a Sunday night, feeling those little persistent worries creep in.

I have no idea why I'm sharing any of this malarky. For real. But I guess I was thinking that maybe if someone else out there feels this way, you might realize you aren't alone.

So how do you combat these feelings? I'm sure there are plenty of solutions. I have no idea what might work for you. Here's what helps me:

- Marry a funny guy. Or girl. Or if you opt not to be married, at least choose a partner who can make you laugh. It goes a long way in helping me with feelings of anxiety and the blues.

- Adopt a shelter pet. Or two. My dogs make a huge difference contributing to my feelings of peace and calm. Even the dearly departed ones.

- Find a spiritual community. Maybe this is a church. Or a group of other like-minded folks. It helps to be part of something where you're united in the common good.

- Consider getting some counseling. If you have issues to work through (and don't we all?), having someone to talk to really helps.

If you stumbled on this post, and anything I've written resonates with you, I hope you feel a little bit less alone. And I hope you don't spend any of your precious energy worrying about silly stuff like I have. I mean, here I am, thirty years later, and I still haven't had the chance to ride my sky horse.

Just a Closer Walk with Jesus

I have lived in Knoxville for going on 16 years. For the first five of them I lived on campus while attending the University of Tennessee. Then I moved to a condo just one mile away from campus and stayed there ten more years. Where I used to live, there were lots of trees all around and I hardly ever got a great view of the sky.

Since moving to our house last summer I feel like we have gotten a new taste of our city. This is kind of funny because we only moved about five miles away.

There's a spot where we top a hill as we're driving towards downtown and you can see a wide expanse of the beautiful mountains and the sky. The other morning, my husband and I were headed somewhere pretty early. We came to that spot and were presented with the most beautiful view. The sun was still coming up and the sky was all shades of pink and red and yellow and gold.

And I said to my husband, "This must have been what it looked like on Easter morning because all was right with the world again."

Easter has significance for me for many different reasons. First, because of my faith....believing that we were once without hope, without a future, and knowing that because of Easter our hope is restored. Our peace with God. Our eternal life. Just knowing that everything is going to be okay.

Easter holds other significance for me because it is the day my sweet dog Leon crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. It's really hard to believe that an entire year has passed since he died.

I guess I should give you some back story. My husband is very playful and loves to do all sorts of funny voices. Each dog that we have had has been given its own unique voice that was created by my husband based on what he felt its personality was. My Leon had the sweetest personality, and his "voice" matched him perfectly. I am forever grateful to my husband for bringing that to life.

If this sounds crazy to you, you are not alone. We have started seeing a marriage counselor and when we shared this with him, I immediately sensed that he might have been writing down "whole new level of crazy." 

But the thing about it is, crazy or not, we loved our dog.

And even though a year has passed, sometimes it doesn't feel any easier that he isn't with us. So on those days, when I'm missing him really bad, it helps that my husband can still bring his voice to life.

Okay, so here's where we take things to the next generation level of crazy...in our minds, Leon is in heaven. With Jesus. And we imagine them having all sorts of adventures. Like playing Scrabble, visiting Saturn, and eating pizza together. And in our little wacky world, my husband even does a voice for Jesus that sounds very much like Hank from King of the Hill.

But here's the thing...I thought doing this would help me feel more peace about Leon. But instead, it has helped me feel more peace about Jesus. Not that I ever didn't feel peace about Him, but growing up, seeing him as that long-haired, bearded guy in a robe on the Sunday school lesson, Jesus always seemed like this stranger that I didn't really know.

Picturing him traipsing around heaven with our dog in tow has made him real to me in a new way.

Recently, I thanked my husband for making up this little fantasy because of how it had helped me deal with my grief. He said that it wasn't just a fantasy to him...that he really did believe Leon was with Jesus. And all our other friends and loved ones who have gone on before us.

Heaven is a real place. It's not just something we've created to make ourselves feel better. I know it's real and I know my loved ones are there. And because of Easter, I can one day see them again.

Even though faith is something many of us share, it's also very personal. When I was young, I had a book called "Little Talks Between God & You." It made it seem so easy to talk to God, and now, three decades later, I still see him as someone I can have little talks with.

I don't want God and Jesus to be something I only "experience" in a church building. And I hope you don't think you have to go to a church building to experience them. Sunday, we will celebrate Easter with family at church. And I'm sure I'll be sad because it will mark the anniversary of my boy's passing. But if my husband really believes we'll see him again, playing his trumpet in heaven, I can believe it too.

Heaviness & Light

What is it about love that both weighs you down and helps you fly at the same time? This week has been tough. After the passing of our boy Leon Spears (the greatest dog who ever lived) on Easter, I've felt sort of in a fog. There's plenty of good stuff to enjoy and look forward to as our wedding quickly approaches, but I still feel such a heavy sadness.

In my Tuesday yoga class, I shared how I was feeling with my teacher and she was very sensitive about the whole situation, taking me through poses and postures that are supposed to increase joy.

During our final relaxation (my favorite part of the class), she asked me if I'd like to have some heavy sandbags to rest on my abdomen. At first it seemed weird, but once I settled in and let myself get lost in the moment, it was nice.

I thought about how loss is like that sometimes....a heaviness that sits squarely across your gut, holding you down, making each breath more difficult than it should be.

To some people, the loss of an animal might not warrant such grief. Clearly those people never had a pet like Leon.

But loss is loss is loss. Whenever someone is dear to you and they go away, there's a sense of missing. When you love someone, it's like you're connected by an unbreakable invisible thread. No matter how far they might be or how long it's been since you saw them, the connection remains intact.

The spirit is such an incredible thing. We think the body matters so much, but really it's just the temporary house for something way more important.

I think the heaviness of loss can be good because it reminds us of just how connected we are to the ones we love. And there's a certain lightness that comes with that too...because when someone we love leaves this world, it takes one end of that invisible string into another realm. So there's a constant battle between sinking into the heaviness and allowing ourselves to float up to a place where we might begin to fly.

Somebody's Got You

The other day I said to my southern beau, "if we end up having a child, would it be okay if we named it Leon?" In case you weren't aware, Leon is my dog...a 9 year old rescued boxer mix who captured my heart from the first moment I saw his bright shining face in a photo on the website of our local animal shelter.

Leon chilling in bed - He has his own Facebook page by the way!

Since bringing him into my home, my heart has opened up in places I didn't even know existed...places that are now filled to the brim with love for his smelly 70-something pound self.

We may or may not name our future child Leon, but that's beside the point. Earlier this year, Leon started walking funny. We first noticed it when visiting my parents. He was dragging his back feet and happened to walk across their jute rug, leaving the tops of his paws raw and bleeding. Then we noticed that he had trouble using the bathroom because his back legs didn't want to support him when he tried to squat.

After some tests and Internet research, we figured out that he probably has a degenerative disorder, much like multiple sclerosis in humans, causing nerve damage in his hind quarters. It creates loss of sensation in his feet which is why he drags them and often walks on his back knuckles.

It's pretty hard to watch your sweet able-bodied pup go from leaping up multiple steps in a single bound to needing to be carried just to get out of a doorway. But his spirit is still just as sweet and so far it doesn't phase him too much.

Leon and I lived alone together for nine years and nearly every night we've slept side by side, first in a queen and now in a roomy king sized bed. Since his condition has gotten worse, he really can't get up into the bed by himself so I find myself hoisting him up several times a day.

He has a $40 dog bed located in my bedroom, and he enjoys sprawling on it, but sometimes he just wants to come up on the big bed. Usually all it takes is a little whine but sometimes he rests his face on the edge of my bed and looks at me with those big ol' eyes. It doesn't matter what I'm doing or how comfortable I am, I always get up and haul him up here.

I gotta say it's not a graceful act. He's wiggly and wobbly and I have to reach under his stinky little dog armpits and sling him up about three feet in the air, all the while trying to lift with my legs and not my back. But every time I do it, I always say the same thing. "Momma's got you."

Sometimes he cries from the floor in the middle of the night and I go through this dog-lifting routine while half asleep. When I wake up with him next to me, I often can't remember how he got there except I know he didn't do it by himself.

He doesn't have to worry about how he's going to get up on the bed, he just knows that I'm going to take care of it for him. In so many ways this is a picture of what love looks like. Messy, awkward, uncoordinated efforts that result in somebody feeling safe and cared for.

Lots of people in my life have been there for me like that...way more times than I deserve. It doesn't always play out exactly the same...it might be something as simple as an encouraging text or Facebook message from a friend. But even these seemingly little things remind me that there are people in my corner, people who've got me.

Sometimes I feel guilty thinking about all the people who've never felt loved or cared for like that. Even still, I know this is how God feels about all of us. But I guess if somebody who was supposed to love you treated you mean, it's hard to believe in God.

The best way I can even begin to remedy it is to add a little more love to the world. We all can.
It only takes noticing people. Well, not just noticing but also really seeing them. And looking past their "I'm fine" to see what hurts lurk below. It might be awkward or wobbly. And we might end up wondering how we got there. But let's do it anyway.