How to have the perfect wedding

The forecast in Knoxville today was dark and rainy. We woke up to cloudy skies, which aren't that unusual for a Saturday in late April. The fourth Saturday in April is significant for me because two years ago on a Saturday just like today, my southern beau and I said our wedding vows in front of a crowd of our nearest and dearest people.

Weddings are special no matter who it is, but for us, after dating as long as we did (eleven years!), it felt like something we'd been waiting to happen for so long.

Just like today, on that fourth Saturday in April two years ago, we also woke up to cloudy skies and even some serious storm warnings. I know you can't control the weather, but nobody dreams of a dreary, stormy day for her wedding. I was already feeling those wedding day jitters. It wasn't cold feet, just a bit of anxiety because there were so many unknowns. It's not like we could really anticipate every little thing and even though we'd rehearsed the night before, there were still so many moving parts to the event.

I haven't written much about our wedding here on the blog, which was kind of a surprise I guess, even to me. I figured that the wedding festivities would give me lots of good material. Perhaps I just got caught up in all of it and wasn't able to process everything that was happening at the time. Two years later, I'm more able to look back on it.

I know it sounds trite and is the worst of all cliches, but my wedding was perfect. Seriously. I mean sure there are a few small things I wish had been different. But not many.

I wish my closest college friend Christina had been able to attend, but she was unable to travel because of complications with her pregnancy. Thankfully she's now the mom of a beautiful little boy so it all worked out, but she was so missed. I wish my paternal grandparents had been there. Health issues and some other complicated things kept them from attending, but ultimately I understood the situation. And I wish my husband and I had taken one good photo with the gorgeous 1958 Rolls Royce my parents got for us to leave the church in, but alas that was not meant to be.

I'm sure there were other tiny hiccups I can't remember. But there were so many wonderful things about it, it was sort of like a dream. I don't know what I did to deserve such a truly special, incredible day.

So maybe you're planning a wedding of your own. Or helping someone you love plan theirs. I can't make any promises, but here are my best tips to make it practically perfect.

Choose a venue that has significance for you, not because it's the fanciest or the most popular. Our ceremony was held at a beautiful old church, rich with history and nestled into the countryside. Our reception took place at an amazing venue nearby and it just so happens to be operated by dear friends. They took care of every detail, down to the absolutely perfect flowers and made from scratch tomato sandwiches.

Don't make your bridesmaids/groomsmen wear ridiculous clothing. We've all been in a wedding where we were forced to wear something that was just awful. Don't be that person. Nobody really cares what those people are wearing. Let them be comfortable in a style that flatters them.

When it comes to cake, buttercream is the name of the game. I know, I know, fondant is beautiful. But don't you want your guests to enjoy the cake too? I'm something of a cake snob and I am convinced that not only is buttercream more delicious but it's actually prettier too. My cake was perfect. Beautiful and delicious. My design inspiration? This cake. I mean, go big or go home, right?

Don't waste time and money on wedding favors that people will end up throwing away. When my maternal grandparents got married in 1957, they didn't have a reception but ended up stopping on the way to their honeymoon for a dinner of Dr. Pepper and fried pies. In honor of them, we gave our guests homemade fried pies as favors. They went fast and I didn't hear anything except rave reviews.

Surround yourself with people you love, who love you. I think part of what made my wedding feel so wonderful is that it was truly a celebration of all the people who have loved me in my life. Who have supported me and cheered me on through so many stages. And my husband too. Don't feel compelled to invite a bunch of people because you feel like you should. 

Spring for the wedding video. Yes, if you get a fancy videographer, it's expensive. This isn't an option for everybody. I get that. But no matter what your budget is, find some way to document your day on video. You will love your photos forever, but there's just something about having footage of the day that I promise you will treasure. I wasn't going to do it until I saw a wedding video for a friend of mine from elementary school. In just a few short minutes, her video captured the essence of the day and was a beautiful memento, especially for those folks who weren't able to attend.

Marry the right person. As I type these words, it's storming in Knoxville. Unlike my perfect day two years, the sky today has not turned blue, sunny and cloudless. But tucked safely in our little house, while I sit here typing on the computer, my husband and our two dogs are napping nearby.

Unlike our wedding day, these past two years have been far from perfect. I don't even think we've had one perfect day out of these past 730, although the second year of marriage has been better than the first. Hopefully each year after will be better than the last. It helps me enjoy the present and look forward to the future.

But we're in it to win it. True blue, stuck like glue. Better than enything (I know it's misspelled...it's an inside joke). This is a decision we both made and that's that. It has nothing to do with our wedding. That was just the buttercream icing on the giant cake.

*All photos courtesy Zach & Sarah Photography - an awesome couple who helped capture our day. *

Engagement Photos by Zach and Sarah Photography - Tennessee

A few weeks ago my beau and I traveled to my hometown for our engagement photo session. With the wedding just around the corner, I felt like we waited too long to do the engagement pictures, plus we'd ended up rescheduling them about five times because of uncooperative weather. 

But the engagement shoot was part of our wedding photo package so we went with it. Other than various snapshots over the years, we don't really have any fancy photos together. Ultimately, I'm glad we ended up doing it because I liked the pictures and I feel like they captured our personalities. 

Sometimes engagement pictures I've seen are so cheesy...we're not really into all that posed stuff. But we had a great photographer (Zach and Sarah Photography) who did a fantastic job making us feel comfortable.

The day of the shoot, we drove all over my small hometown in search of cool spots for photos. It definitely gave me a new perspective on some places I've driven past my entire life. Each time our photographer Zach would see something he liked, we'd pull over and snap a few pics. It was a chilly, sort of overcast day and I wasn't sure how it would all turn out. But I'm pretty happy with them. 

Before too long, we'll have wedding pictures to share...but for now I'm enjoying looking through these. For more pictures by Zach and Sarah, check out their blog!

Simple DIY Projects for a Fall Wedding

Fall is a popular time for weddings, but all brides don't have unlimited budgets to work with. What's a fall bride to do? DIY of course! I'm joining my friends from WTNZ Fox43 to share some simple and affordable DIY options for a fall wedding.

One wedding must-have is flowers, and fall lends itself to some gorgeous color palettes. Wedding flowers can really eat up a big chunk of a bride's budget, but while a bride might not want to scrimp on her bouquet, there's no reason you can't cut corners for men's boutonnieres. I'm not a fan of silk flower for brides, but there are ways you can work them into your event. First, I'm sharing how to make fun and simple bouts on a budget.

DIY Fall Wedding Boutonnieres 

Depending on your colors and style, brides can get really creative with boutonnieres. First, I visited a local craft supply store to check out its dried and artificial floral selection.


This can be overwhelming because of all the options, but just choose things that strike you. I always err on the side of simple vs. flashy, especially since the men's flowers shouldn't distract from the bride's and her attendants.

To make DIY fall wedding boutonnieres, you'll need:

• Silk flowers (your choice)
• Floral tape & wire
• Wire cutters 

Now, just get creative. Snip a few stems and blossoms and play with it until you get a look that you like. Fasten everything together with the wire and then wrap the stem in the floral tape. Voila! Everything shown cost less than 10 dollars and you could create multiple boutonnieres from one bunch of silk flowers.

Mismatched Vintage Wedding China for a Fall Wedding 

Next, think about your table decorations. A popular trend with weddings is using mismatched vintage china, but unless you are a serious dish collector, it's hard to gather enough.

The great thing is that these days, there are companies that specialize in this service by renting vintage china in a variety of colors and patterns.

The ones I'm showing are borrowed from Colleen Munyan at Unique Settings.

Unique Settings is a company that offers mismatched china rentals to brides in Knoxville as well as around East Tennessee. With tons of gorgeous china patterns to choose from in a variety of sizes, there are styles and colors for every bride's taste and budget. Plus Unique Settings delivers and picks up everything to and from your venue. Colleen at Unique Settings offers table styling services as well.

What I love most about the idea of using vintage mismatched china for a wedding is the history behind it. Each piece has a story and brings a new level of depth and meaning to a wedding. In the south, we put a whole lot of meaning into what we do and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

The other thing I love about this practice is that it gives new life to old dishes that otherwise might have been relegated to dusty attics and/or thrift store shelves. So often, I'll see one beautiful plate while thrift store shopping, but can't bring myself to buy it because it isn't part of a set. 

Colleen from Unique Settings gets to give vintage china and other dishes a new sense of purpose. Plus, there are so many different patterns and possible combinations, no other bride would ever have your exact same tablescape. 

[**Shameless plug - Colleen at Unique Settings was so sweet to let me borrow some of her wares for the segment and I wanted to share a link to her IndieGoGo site where she's trying to raise funds to attend the upcoming Pink Bride show in Knoxville. Pass it on!]

DIY Wedding Favors for a Fall Wedding 

My final DIY fall wedding project is wedding favors. Call me old fashioned, but I'm still a fan of the simple matchbook, with gold embossed names. But today's brides have taken wedding favors to the next level and beyond!

I don't care for favors that require you to do anything (i.e. seeds to plant, etc.). Besides the basic matchbook, I like favors that are edible in nature.

One simple fall wedding favor is to create spiced tea mix and put it in small individualized jars. Include a tag that says something like "Love is the Spice of Life." You could always make that quintessential spice tea mixture I enjoyed growing up (complete with Tang and red hots candy). Brides could even buy pre-made drink mix in bulk. For the segment, I used a store-bought chai mix that smelled heavenly.

Another great (easy and cheap!) fall wedding favor is small bags of caramel popcorn. You could include a note that says "Love Always Pops Up" and pass these out to your guests as they leave. Popcorn is available in so many varieties and flavors. You can find good quality popcorn in bulk also. If you want to make your guests work for it, give them un-popped corn instead.

I'm in the middle of planning my wedding, but it's not happening until spring. There's a special place in my heart for a fall wedding, but our venue is so popular, it was already booked up for fall. We were happy to get the date we did!

Are you a fan of wedding DIY? No bride wants to be stressed out on her big day, but saving a little moolah always lowers my blood pressure. Here's to the next wedding you help plan...hope it's lovely!

Why My Groom Won't Dance to Beyonce at Our Wedding Reception

Today I saw a video making its way around the Internet world. It brought a big smile to my face and a warm feeling inside my heart. But even as I watched it, I knew I would never experience anything like it. And that's okay. Let me explain.

The video captured a lip-sync and dancing performance of a groom at his wedding reception. He and his groomsmen took the dance floor and performed smooth dance moves for the bride, while songs by Beyonce and the Backstreet Boys played on. I immediately tried to picture my own soon-to-be groom at our upcoming wedding. I cannot on any level imagine him putting together a choreographed routine to perform. But there's a reason for this. Dancing just isn't his thing.

In fact, I can count on one hand the number of times we've danced together in public during our ten years as a couple. One was a week into our relationship when he accompanied me to my last sorority formal in my senior year of college. Another was at a gala fundraiser for the arts and then there was our infamous dance lesson.

We're not even having dancing at our wedding. When I shared this factoid with our wedding videographer, there was an uncomfortable silence on the other end of the phone.

He couldn't fathom this. Apparently dancing at weddings is sort of commonplace. Sort of the norm. The expected thing.

It's not that I'm against dancing. Quite the opposite. I dance all the time. And I love to do it. But my would-be groom on the other hand...dancing isn't really his thing.

However, there are plenty of other things that are 'his thing.'

Like filling ice cube trays. And taking out the garbage. Listening to talk radio. Reading scary books. Helping people. Taking pieces of scrap metal and crafting them into fully functional (and beautiful) tools. Driving down country roads to explore places we've never been. Making up magical stories and telling them to me over the phone when I can't fall asleep. Listening to me and really hearing what I say. Fixing things. Telling me it's going to be okay even when a situation feels otherwise.

My beau is good and brave and true. And if he doesn't want to jump around at our wedding reception, dancing to Beyonce and acting silly, that's okay. I'm marrying him for who he is...not who I might try to make him become.

The online world isn't inherently evil. But when we let it speak to us about things we think our lives are missing, it can be a slippery slope. If you didn't have "the perfect marriage proposal" you can spend hours feeling bad about yourself while watching tear-jerker, awe-inspiring proposals on YouTube. If your child is behind in school, the online child prodigy who can recite the preamble to the Constitution heaps shame on your head. And if you didn't have a great relationship with your dad, the countless dad and daughter videos of touching shared moments can leave you feeling pea green with envy.

When are we going to realize the beauty of what's right in front of us? What is it going to take for us to stop looking outside and wishing for something different....but instead find joy and contentment in the wonderful things we already have?

I couldn't care less if my groom doesn't burst into song or set up a flash mob situation at our wedding. I know that the wedding is only the first step in the rest of our life together. And I feel like that's going to be pretty great.

The next time you see something online that makes you feel less than, give yourself a break. And remember that there's really no such thing as more or less. Just different folks who enjoy different things and have different talents and gifts.

Harry Potter, Wedding Dresses and Why You Shouldn't Show Up at David's Bridal without an Appointment and 90 Minutes to Spare

There's this thing I'm guilty of doing...it's sort of like reverse snobbery. I don't know why exactly, but often I assume things that apply to the vast majority of people won't apply to me. Maybe it's because I've always felt a little bit different than other folks or maybe it's because the things I think and feel aren't quite the norm.

Here's an example. For many years I heard people talk about how much they loved the Harry Potter books. In college, my friend Stephanie was obsessed! She even read some borderline raunchy fan fiction that was not appropriate for good southern baptist girls. Harry Potter was all anybody could talk about. And thus, I assumed I would hate the wizarding world and avoided it like the plague.

Then several years later my co-worker and friend convinced me to give it a try. I trusted his opinion on other things so I agreed to read the first book in the series. Would you believe I stayed up ALL NIGHT reading it and finished the entire book in one sitting? It began my love of HP that still lives strong today.

So the moral of the story is I should learn not to assume.

Fast forward to the other day when my mom suggested we go to a local bridal store and try on wedding dresses. I have no idea why, but I guess I've always assumed that I would not be able to find my dress at a traditional store. Maybe I thought they wouldn't have my size or the prices would be outrageous. A few days before, we had actually ordered some dresses online and I was convinced one of them would be 'the one.'

Knowing nothing about bridal store etiquette, we (my mom, dad, and I) just showed up at our local David's Bridal. Apparently you need to have an appointment for wedding dress shopping, but they were having an unusually slow Friday so they accommodated us. The main reason for this excursion was to appease my mom, who felt that ordering a wedding dress on the internet didn't create the same experience of trying on and choosing from several options in a dress shop.

I was so convinced I wouldn't find the dress at the shop that I was borderline rude to the saleswoman and tried to communicate with my eyes for her to not pin her hopes on any sort of commission...since I didn't think there was any chance we'd be making an actual purchase.

She whisked me into a mirror-less dressing cube and helped zip me into what I only know to describe as a girdle and matching can-can. Three or four different dresses materialized and I tried them, but none felt all that special. I asked her if she had any really plain un-shiny dresses without a bunch of sparkles and frills. Apparently that's not the common request at David's Bridal because she looked at me like I was crazy.

Then another dress came in the dressing room, was pulled up and over my head and secured with the same clips I use to keep potato chips from getting stale. I glanced down at the dress but since there was no mirror, I really had no idea how it looked.

I stepped out of the dressing room and was met with my own reflection in wall-to-wall mirrors. The first thing I saw was my mom's expression. Even my dad sort of gave me a funny look. Then the tears...this was the dress. I loved how it made me look and feel.

I've heard people tell their own version of this story, but I never dreamed I'd have one of my own. I guess that's the thing about life...we just can't assume anything because we're constantly being surprised and learning things we never thought could be possible. For that matter, there has always been part of me that never thought I'd be a bride so even that idea has taken getting used to.

The moral of this story? Be open to possibilities. You just never know what's possible and that's pretty great.